Rant Time Is Upon Us...

Ok I don't usually do this kind of thing, but I'm seriously annoyed at the situation thus far and have no other outlet for my rage so it's going up here on the blog.

UPS LICKS FUCKING DONKEY BALLS

So I receive a delivery notice last Thursday, stating that I have a package waiting and owe a minimal fee of $16.05. That's all fine and good. So I call their 1-800 number in an attempt to talk to a REAL LIVE PERSON, hoping to re-route the package to my workplace. Yeah right, before each of the enter-x bullshit menu options I get from the uppity computerized bitch on the phone, there's a plug for the fabulous technological marvel that is ups.com...where I can fulfill all my package-related desires with speed and ease.

But I'm already on the phone. After what seems like dozens of menu options I obtain a confirmation that my package will be available at the service center Monday morning. Of course, I can't understand the address the spits out at me, nor does asking to have it repeated result in a more-intelligable response. It appears that I must resort to looking at the website after all.

Aha! I find a UPS shipping center address, but I'm a little suspicious. None of these addresses even remotely resemble the one spewed at me by binary-bitch. Having been to the shipping center before however, I decide to take a trip up there on Tuesday AM before work in an attempt to reclaim my package, figuring they'll have had plenty of time to reroute it to the center and all will be lovely.

You know where this is going now don't you...

I arrive at what used to be the shipping center, only to find a BIG "For Lease" sign in the parking lot. Pulling up to the door I find a map, with a NEW location for the shipping center, which just so happens to be another 15 minute drive from my current location. And did I mention it's -27 degrees Celcius outside and icy as a freshly waxed witches ass? Off to the shipping center it is then, where are my skates?!

Upon arriving at the military-compound, I mean shipping center, there is no obvious place to park, nor decent signs to show you that you're allowed to drive through the gates to the place of parking-ness. I go in anyway, because I want my fucking box at this point. So I walk in, wait impatiently for a surprisingly short 5 minutes, and finally hand my delivery slip to a clerk. She looks the number up with alacrity, only to inform me that the package is not, I repeat NOT at the shipping center.

Yeah, I was happy about it too.

So great, where is this elusive box in question? Apparently it's still on the truck and the driver (love how it's the driver's fault now), didn't read his notes and hadn't brought it in the the shipping center. Fine...here's my proposal to the clerk:

"Well if it's still on the truck, how about we get it delivered to my office tomorrow?" I hand her a business card and indicate the address written clearly at the bottom. She accepts the card and circles the address, clearly, in blue pen. "Oh yes, since it's a downtown address we can deliver it before 5pm tomorrow afternoon."

Great. That's settled. I drive back to work, and think nothing of it until this morning, when I stop at the front desk to inform the reception staff that there should be a package for me today. Three PM rolls around and no package as of yet. Color me suspicious once again. Off to the bloody website we go again, to find this lovely collection of fiction:

AS REQUESTED BY THE CUSTOMER, THE RECEIVER WILL PICKUP AT A UPS FACILITY WITHIN 5 BUSINESS DAYS / ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED WITH CUSTOMER

I particularly enjoyed the "confirmed with customer" part of that story, didn't you? So after talking with the lady yesterday, they just decided that I'd confirmed that I would come back another day, pretend that I had been spoken with, and then not notify me of a god-damn thing that was decided with my 'confirmation'. Excellent.

At least after talking with the girl on the phone today the status is actually representative of the redelivery request. Let's see what tomorrow brings shall we?